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As year-old L. James is far from alone. Some of these guys have difficulties because of situational conditions.

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Sex and relationships educator and author Tracey Cox wades into the great orgasm debate and offers her climax tips. The female orgasm continues to be under intense scrutiny and the subject of extensive scientific interest. Experts endlessly puzzle over the myriad of ways women can orgasm, and the potential obstacles that could be preventing them for hitting the big O.

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Orgasms are not one-size-fits-all. What works for one woman won't work for everyone and what worked for you with one partner might not work with another. Here's the scenario.

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Especially if you want to orgasm during penetration. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women only orgasm There are numerous other studies and stats out there about the female orgasm struggle, and the numbers vary depending on the sample and the decade in which the research occurred. Bottom line, though: If you have a vagina, sex without orgasm may be a frustratingly common reality.

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Photo by Thais Ramos Varela. All that "extra" adds up to a lot of pressure. It clogs our enjoyment and weighs down our desire.

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But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous.

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Of course, I thought something was wrong with me because what seemed to cum so easily to everyone else see what I did there? For starters, the orgasm gap is real AF. In fact, according to a study in the Archives of Sexual Behavioronly 65 percent of heterosexual women reported that they "usually or always orgasmed when sexually intimate," compared to 95 percent of heterosexual men sigh.

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It can be life-long or have started after a period of time of being able to experience orgasm. Some women can experience orgasm during masturbation, but not during partnered sex; some women can get highly aroused, but never go beyond that. This can leave women feeling deprived of something special, isolated and abnormal and can cause tension in relationships.

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Naturally, guys are typically more competitive and, in my experience, you can almost smell their testosterone flowing when their egos are challenged in the bedroom. More often than not, when I reveal the truth I become a game to them—a game they feel that they MUST win, despite the fact that I am essentially player number one and own the controller. Even when posting my ideas for this article on my social media, I received this message:.

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Skip navigation! Story from Sex Tips. Like falling in love or meeting your soulmate, people say you'll "just know" when you're having an orgasm. That's a lovely sentiment, and might be true for some people, but sometimes you might actually not know.

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